A Date from Hell
by theredpoofballhat
Summary: Wendy Testaburger is griving in pain over the loss of her boyfriend Stan..to no other than Kyle! But then she goes on a double date with Cartman and soon realizes that she doesn't know what pain is...literally. Candy, Style, Benny  BebexKenny  R&R&R!
1. Creeping on Stan

Wendy Testaburger fiercely bit into her sloppy burger and glared at her ex boyfriend from across the bowling alley.

"Now Wendy, come on. Today was supposed to be a fun day, remember?" Bebe placed her hand on Wendy's dainty shoulder. "You don't look like your having fun." She whispered in her ear.

"Hmmph!" Wendy mumbled angrily as she took another bite of her hamburger. Of course she wasn't having any fun! Her life currently sucked- Her grades were slipping, her cat, Ms. Kitty, just died, and she had just discovered that her perfect, gorgeous boyfriend, Stan Marsh, captain of the football team, is GAY! GAY! Wendy took another bite out of her burger, silently pretending she was biting the head of Kyle Brofslovski; Stan's new…interest.

"Look Wendy, you've got to get over him! It's totally killing MY buzz!" Bebe placed her long, manicured hands on her hips and raised a flawless eyebrow. Bebe was perfect- long blonde frizzy hair, curvy body, green eyes and an AMAZING dresser- why couldn't Wendy be more like Bebe? Bebe never gets dumped. EVER.

"Blech!" Wendy stuck out her tongue and opened her mouth, full of food.

"Gross Wendy!"

Wendy returned her attention to Stan and Kyle, bowling in a faraway lane. She began to watch beautiful Stan…he was laughing, and his eyes crinkled at its corners, like they always did. His pin straight black hair was swishing back and forth as he elbowed Kyle, pointing to Kyle's ball in the gutter. Wendy missed his adorable laugh…

Kyle's red hair fell into soft, contrasting ringlets around his chiseled face as he chuckled back and shoved Stan back softly. Wendy twitched in a pang of jealousy…

Then Stan said something funny, and his eyes lit up, like they always did when he cracked a cheesy joke. Wendy missed his stupid cheesy jokes. A lot more than she should…

Then they leaned in for a quick but passionate kiss, and Stan took hold of Kyle's long fingers. Why did he never kiss me like that? Wendy sighed. They seemed so…happy…Wendy had to look away, disgusted.

"Wendy! HELLO!" Bebe's fingers snapping in Wendy's face got her out over her dream like trance.

"Huh?"

Bebe groaned in exasperation. "Goddamnit Testaburger!"

Wendy sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry Bebe, but I just want to go home."

Bebe threw her arms up and sighed. "Can we at least finish our game!"

"Fine." Wendy crammed her mouth with hamburger.

Bebe picked up a ball and aimed. A perfect strike. People in the lanes next to her congratulated her, including Token and Craig, who were total suck ups to Bebe because they though she was hot. That's why Wendy broke up with Token: All he could talk about were Bebe's boobs. But not Stan…Stan never talked about Bebe…but he did talk about Kyle…

Wendy stood up and dragged her way to pick up the bowling ball from the machine that recycled balls. She hurled it carelessly into the gutter, not even trying. Token and Craig booed her.

"Awe shut up you fucking arseholes!" Wendy screamed. "Bowling ball in the gutter, life in the gutter, I could care less!" She muttered to herself.

Bebe, flushed from excitement of her previous strike, ran up to Wendy. "God Wendy, your bowling is really of tonight!"

"No shit!" Wendy snarled, annoyed that Bebe still wanted to bowl even though she knew Wendy wasn't up to it.

Bebe looked stunned for a second, then her eyes grew harsh. "I'm only trying to help you get your mind of Stan, bitch! It's not my fault you can't satisfy him!" She practically screamed. Over in the next lane, Craig and Token went, "ooohhhhhh!"

Wendy's heart stung with her best friends' words. _But Kyle can_, she thought. Tears brimmed her eyes. _What's wrong with me? Why doesn't Stan like me?_

Bebe, seeing Wendy's pain, calmed down and sympathized. "Ohmygod, Wendy. I so did not mean that." She pulled her in for a hug.

"I know you didn't Bebe. I'm sorry for snapping at you. I know your trying to help. It's just I need time to think. It's only been a week."

Bebe nodded, understanding. "What happened to you? You used to be so…tough."

"I know."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know Bebe. I need a miracle."


	2. Practice Makes Perfect

Hello everyone! First south park fanfiction yeah! I love south park and I've written so much for it! Yippee for posting now! I will update story often, as often as I can…probably every week or every couple days =] same goes with all. Please R&R&R! Thanks! Sorry for crappiness.

Summary: Wendy goes on a date with Eric Cartman, but it turns into a disaster.

Disclaimer: I do not own any south park characters, except maybe Cartman. No, not even Cartman *sad face* I wish…

"So, Wendy Testaburger. Want to go out sometime?"

_Too formal._

"WENDY! HO! Want to go out…DAWG?"

_GAH!_

"Hello. Want to go get dinner?"

_Too awkward._

"My darling sugar plum cupcake, let us go feast on food sometime in the next…48 hours!"

_Where did that even come from?_

Cartman shook his head wildly and yanked his red tie tighter. _This had to be perfect!_

He stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and began to speak again. _Concentrate…_

"Hey you better go out with me bitch! Or else I'll kick you squa in the nuts!"

_Too forceful_.

Cartman pushed his long mouse brown hair out of his eyes. "Why is this so fucking hard?" He groaned.

_Haha,_ he thought silently. _That's what she said!_

_Concentrate!_

He shook his head and wrinkled his nose. _Breath in, breathe out_…

"Weeennnnndaaaaayyyyyy…"He practiced his whiny voice. "I have, like, _breast cancer_, so you have to go out with me…"

_Too desperate!_

But Cartman _was_ desperate. He had been waiting for like, EVER, for Stan to break up with Wendy. Now his loyal patience will pay him back. He had never had a real girlfriend before, so he didn't know how to handle this.

Also Cartman had imagined that he was going to be the one to get asked out, not the one asking out. He didn't like feeling out of control. He didn't want to get rejected, so he had to do this right!

"Hey, you, you pot smoking hippie slut, with you go out with me?

_No! Concentrate! Breath in, breathe out…_

"Will you go out with me, even though I'm sure you hate my guts?"

Cartman started at himself sadly. It wasn't any use, was it? No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, he would never, ever be able to be with his love. She hated him. She loved Stan. It was no use!

_No! Don't think like that! Otherwise, it will really never happen!_

Cartman sighed in fatigue and rubbed his soar temples. _Tomorrow. Tomorrow was the day. Tomorrow!_

_Concentrate_…

"Hey, wanna go get, like food sometime, ho?"

_Careless but not too careless_.

Cartman straightened his tie and grinned widely in the mirror.

_Perfect._


	3. Science Class

A Date From Hell

Summary: In slight hopes of getting over Stan, Wendy goes on a double date with Cartman and everything that could possibly go wrong – goes wrong.

Rated T

Pairings: Cartmanxwendy, kennyxbebe, stanxkyle, wendyxstan

Please R&R if you like it! Give feedback, and I will do the same for you 3

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park, or any of its beloved characters.

Wendy sat in 1st period science, waiting glumly for her best friend to arrive. As per usual, she was early to class, and to pass the time she watched her fellow classmates pour into the science lab.

1st came Tweek, hyped up on his usual morning coffee. He pulled repeatedly at his collar and took a seat in the back, talking to himself the entire time.

Wendy glanced at him briefly. He was neurotic and hyper, and therefore possessed none of Wendy's affections. Although she admitted he was good looking, he was incomparable to Stan.

Then came Craig, Clyde and Token, who formed their own little clique back in 7th grade. They were all laughing at punching each other, and you know, being boys. Wendy didn't think they looked as tight as Stan either, especially Craig with his fucked up teeth. They took up seats a couple rows behind Wendy, and as usual Wendy could feel Token giving her the death glare for breaking up with him in 6th grade for Stan…again. Wendy sighed. Whatever. She was used to it,

Then came in Heidi and the girls. Wendy could feel her blood curl and her head throb with discontent. Wendy hated, no…loath Heidi. After 9th grade, Heidi and Wendy got into a massive argument because Heidi was telling everyone that Wendy was "infatuated with ERIC CARTMAN". Their dispute ended in kicking and hair tugging.

Heidi gave Wendy a superior smirk before taking her seat next to Red and Rebecca across from her. Then, as expected, she proceeded to whisper loudly enough for Wendy to hear:

"I always knew Stan Marsh was gay. It was so obvious to anyone who knew him…" She blabbered on."

Wendy stiffened both from shock and anger, but decided to ignore her.

"Poor Wendy. She was dumped for a boy! And no less, Kyle Brofslovski!" Heidi feigned sympathy.

"I know, I feel so bad!" Red was dumb enough to believe Heidi's lies. She gave Wendy a quick glance. "It's so unfortunate!"

Wendy cringed. Stupid Heidi. I hate her, I hate her, and I hate her-

The sound of a beautiful familiar laugh abruptly interrupted Wendy from silently planning the murder of Heidi. Her head shot up.

Sure enough, Stan Marsh was walking towards Wendy in slow motion, like some cheesy romance movie. The color pink blurred around the edges of her vision, and Wendy sighed like she was waling on a cloud. Stan's hair was streaming behind him like as if was windy in the classroom, and to Wendy's happy surprise, he gave her a friendly wave and a jaw dropping smile.

Ohmygosh! Did he just wave at me? Wendy's thoughts squealed like a little fan girl. Is he going to ask to be my boyfriend again? Oh Stan, please do ask! I love you! I love you, I love you! Wendy hoped.

Her heart skipped a beat and she raised her hand to wave back, but then the next words that came out of his mouth shattered her already frail heart.

" Hey KYLE!"

"Hiya, STAN!"

Kyle had taken the seat behind her. Wendy didn't even notice, and Stan went on acting as if she never existed. Wendy slowly put her hand down as Heidi and the girls began to giggle obnoxiously at Wendy's embarrassment. She hung her heard, and the fragments of her broken heart fell down to her toes. She felt invisible.

Wendy went back to watching people come in the room, trying to her best ability to ignore Stan behind her and Heidi across from her. Soon enough, the rest of the class entered along with Bebe. Bebe, noticing the awkwardness of Wendy's position, plopped down in the seat next to her.

"Guess what?" Bebe bounced up and down excitedly.

" I don't know, but I have a feeling your going to tell me.."

" Kenny and I are officially boyfriend and girlfriend! He asked me last night! It was so cute!" Her eyes sparkled. "Isn't that wonderful!"

"Yeah." Wendy said lamely. IF only Stan had done the same…

Bebe gave a sigh of relief. "I'm so happy."

"I bet you are. When is your next date?" Wendy pretended to sound interested.

" Thursday! We are going to an amusement park! Kenny finally saved up enough and…oh, life is great!" Bebe sounded so lovesick.

Wendy was truly happy for the couple. It was just she wished that she could be happy too.

"Alright class!" said Miss Likeschode, "Let's get started!"

Wendy realized that two people were absent- Bebe's darling Kenny, and Eric Cartman. They were irreseperatable best friends- but not in a gay way like he-who-must-not-be-named. Then, to respond to Wendy's thoughts, the door flung open and in marched Kenny and Eric Cartman.

Kenny was around 5'9 and has orange spiky hair that was messy but in a "sexy way", as Bebe describes it. He had blue eyes and 2 big front teeth that apparently made him hot. And that was true, Kenny was pretty hot. He had girls and boys falling all over him, but his affections were reserved for Bebe, and Bebe liked that so many girls were jealous of her. Wendy had always liked Kenny, just not in a mushy way. He was thin, nice, friendly and perverted. Emphasis on perverted.

Eric Cartman was like the polar opposite. First, everyone called him Eric Cartman, one long name. Only his closest friends called him "Cartman". In Wendy's head, she called him Eric though. She liked that name a lot.

Eric had long mouse brown hair that fell into soft waves around his face, curled at the nape of his neck and ended slightly longer in the back. He also had side bangs that covered one of his forest green eyes. Tiny, faint freckles dotted his cheeks and he always had his dark long eyebrows in an angry "V" shape. Unlike Kenny, he had practically no acne and you could tell he bathed regularly. He was around 6'2, talk for a 10th grader, and chubby at his stomach, and even though he tried to hide it whenever he raised his hand to make a smart ass comment you could see well defined love handles. He was narcissistic, sadistic, racist, sexist, and a complete asshole.

But strangely enough, Wendy admits to having a crush on him back in 8th or 9th grade, around the time Heidi and Wendy stopped being friends. It was true what Heidi had said about being "Infatuated with Eric Cartman" But still, it was pretty mean. Then after the fight, Stan asked her out and she saw the light. She used to be attracted to his douche baggery, wanting to figure his complex mind out, but now she just tries to ignore him whenever he calls her a pot-smoking-hippie-whore, or a slutbag-hippie-bitch, Those- Whom-Privates-Are-Big-Enough-To-Fly-An-Airplane-Through, or his favorite; Wendy the Hippie Bitch Who Takes It In The Bum.

Speaking of sadist assholes, Cartman strolled past her desk, but not with out thwacking her in the head and calling her a Hippie on Rags. Then he passed Stan and Kyle, calling then "faggots".

He and Kenny took a seat in the back.

"Mr. Cartman and Mr. McCormick, why are you late?"

"Cuz' were badass!" Eric laughed loudly from behind me.

"Yeah!" Kenny agreed. Next to me, Bebe sighed passionately.

"Well, I'm going to have to write you too badass' up!" Ms. Likeschode said angrily.

"Don't bother, Ms. Kisses Toads, I'm not going to show up in nyah!"

The entire class bursts into laughter. Kenny echoes, "Kisses Toads, Kisses Toads!"

From behind me, Kyle begins to lecture Eric in the mist of the laughter. "You shouldn't talk to the teacher like that! You'll be punished severely!"

"Just like your going to be punished for being gay! Your going to the darkest place in hell, Jewfag! And you too, Stan the Fag!" Eric's booming laugh outshines all the others.

Kyle shuts up, and for some reason I've never been so thankful for Eric Cartman's obnoxious small-minded ways.


	4. Kenny Sells A Date

A Date From Hell, chapter 4

Hey everybody! Please R&R! Love you!

-alvinroxz

Summary: Wendy goes on a double date with Cartman, Kenny and Bebe. Watch disaster strike! Pairings: Style, Candy, Benny (BebexKenny) Stendy

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park, blah blah blah!

Once again, Eric Cartman found himself staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. But this time, he wasn't in his house, he was currently skipping 7th period geometry to avoid taking a test he didn't want to take. He does what he wants!

Eric smoothed his clothes and analyzed them briefly- dark red jacket with a zipper and the words "I'm The Person Your Mother Warned You About" written across the front, light blue jeans with a hole in the knee from trying to power slide across his front lawn, and wristbands that said things like "I Love Boobies" and "Never Kick a Man Unless He's Down". Eric vaguely remembers one time Wendy told him that he looked good in red, so he has never worn anything but red to school.

"Hey ho, you want to go get like, food or something?" He sighed and pushed his hair out of his eyes with his chubby fingers.

"Want to go get like, FOOD?"

"Lets go have food."

Concentrate Eric!

"Want to go have dinner?"

Then he shook his head and began to practice his facial expressions.

"Dinner…Foood…"Eric twitched his eyebrows and stuck his tounge out. "Dinner." He stuck his tounge in. "Food." He winkled his little nose. He tried to smile. 2 dimples appeared. "Food. Fooood. Food." Fatigued, he muttered to himself something about annoying hippies.

Concentrate…

"Hey ho…" he said softly. And once again, Cartman's pessimistic mind drifted off to thoughts about Wendy Testaburger that all ended in hopelessness. Eric Cartman knew this was pointless. No matter what, he would never muster up enough courage to ask Wendy out. He looked at himself sadily.

"Wendy…"

BANG! A loud, ear piercing sound of a stall swinging open and hitting the wall startled poor Eric as he jumped back in utter horror.

"AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!" laughed Kenny merrily as he danced around in aimless circles.

…Mother fucking butthole.

"AhahahHAHHA! HEEHEHEH!" Kenny did another strange happy dance and he howled with laughter. "I KNEW you liked Wendy! I KNEW it!"

"Goddamnit! Why are you stalking me Kenneh?" Cartman roared, really pissed off.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! BUHAHAHAHA!" Kenny's fit of laughter ended in chortles and tears. He plastered on this big creepy grin on his puny face and began to giggle silently.

"Shut the fuck UP, you poor piece of CRAP!" Cartman spat.

"I knew you had a bone for that chick Wendy. I wasn't sure but now I am!" Kenny clapped over his head.

Eric's face turned tomato red, partically because he had never thought anyone would say "You", "Bone" and "Wendy" all in the same sentence, and partically because Kenny's loud obnoxoious laughter might have been heard by passing students outside of the boy's lavatory. "I DO NOT! AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He tasted the rage on his tounge.

"Look Cartman, if you want a date with her, all you have to do is tell me!" Cartman looked as if he were about to explode. "I do not like that hippie bitch! Your fucking crazy!"

Kenny just shook his head happily, and wiped tears from his wet eyes. "If you haven't realized, I'm dating her best friend. We could go on a double date. Dude, I could totally hook you up!"

Cartman growled low, still pissed off at his lame friend for eavesdropping on his private conversations.

"You know you want to..." Kenny taunted.

"No, because then you fucking girl will think I like that bitch…Which I don't!"

"I'll tell Bebe not to tell her!"

"BEBE can't keep her mouth shut for more than a minute!"

"Cartman! Your digressing!"

"Neuw!"

"Cartman…this is a temporary opportunity…going once…going twice…"

Cartman looked at his friend curiously.

"Last chance for a double date with Wendy Testaburger…"

"OKAY! FAHN!" Cartman stomped his foot. "FAHN Kenny, you black asshole!"

"SOLD! To the chubby one in the red sweater!"

"AY!"

Kenny grinned, exastic. "Good." He walked out the door.

Cartman was visible trembling with anger. But he calmed down a little bit, straightened his clothes in the mirror and winked at himself.

"And that's how you do it nyah…" He pretended to know what the fuck had just happened. And then he smiled.


	5. Janitor's Closet

Chapter 5 "A Date From Hell"

Summary: Eric Cartman and Wendy Testaburger go out on a double date that plunges into disaster. What will they do? Rated T for cursing, gore and sexual references. Het and slash pairings: Candy, Style, Benny (BebexKenny) and Stendy.

Hello everyone! Thanks and MUCH LOVE 3 for reading! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews 3 and favorites 3. Please R&R!

Kisses & Hugs!

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own south park…damn!

XXX

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Kyle took a hold of Stan's hands and planted a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. "I love you…but we really need to go back to class!"

Stan blushed furiously in the darkness of the damp janitor's closet. He wasn't used to doing this with Kyle…or anyone really. In fact, he had never hooked up in a janitor's closet before- until now. He wondered what lucky champ would get to clean up after them.

Stan knew that he had an insatiable desire to be with Kyle, and that was the reason he went to such extremes to be with him. It used to be small pecks and hand holding, but after a couple months it was getting worse; he couldn't resist him longer than about an hour. And that's where the closet comes in.

Kyle kissed him again. "Let's go, hey." He paused. "I'm Class Valedictorian and I want to keep it that way."

"I know, I know…" Stan scratched the back of his head. There was the Kyle he knew- always worried about losing his spot as top in the class to some other "A" student. Ironically enough, Stan knew of no other "A" student then Kyle. Except maybe Wendy.

"Alright. I'll go now, and you come back in two minutes. Got it?"

Stan nodded dumbly. Kyle dropped his sweaty hand and opened the door to the bright light of the school. Then, in a flash, came back the darkness of the closet. And he was gone.

Stan sighed and stumped down on the wooden, dusty floor next to a wet mop and some empty Febreeze cans.

It was the end of the day, and Stan just couldn't wait to go home and play videogames with his best friend and or lover. That was the thing about their relationship; one minute they were kissing and the next they were best friends, cracking jokes and having adventures. And Stan was happy with it this way. They had only gone public for about a week, and everyone (with the exception of Cartman) wasn't constantly ripping on them for being gay. At first it was hard, but then the gossip and rumors died down almost completely.

Stan sighed again, content.

And the best part? He was free of the guilt; the constant thought that he was cheating on

Wendy. Now, instead of sneaking around her back for months and lying to her face, he had the sudden ability to love his boyfriend whenever he wanted wherever he wanted. He was free…except not in school. And again, the closet comes in.

Stan glanced at his wristwatch. 3:00. The bell would ring in a minute. Quickly, he opened the door and slinked out into the bright hallway, then down the stairwell do his right, and sprinted down the set of rusty purple stairs. Then, he walked right out the back door.

Kyle was waiting there, along with Kenny, and a grim Eric Cartman, cigar in mouth as usual. The cold air whipped Stan's cheeks as he stepped out side into the winter snow.

"I got your stuff for you." Kyle held out Stan's bulging backpack.

"Thanks." Stan gave Kyle a little kiss.

"Do you fags mind making out somewhere else?" Cartman immediately scowled and puffed in Kyle's face.

Kyle coughed and glowered at him, and we all began walking in the snow.

As usual, Kyle and I walked in front while Kenny and Cartman trailed a few feet behind. Stan turned to Kyle. He was going on about how awful Cartman was, and how much he hated him. Stan smiled and nodded, pretending he was listening.

Stan's thoughts wandered to his happiness; which he had been rubbing in everybody's face for the past week. Going public with Kyle was the best decision I have ever made, He concluded. Now only if I could get rid of Cartman, my life would be perfect.

Speaking of the devil, why were they talking in such hushed tones? Stan began to eavesdrop, but it was kind of hard with a thick hat on his head.

"Bebe will blah, blah, blah!" Cartman hissed.

Stan couldn't get the last words.

Kenny was even harder; he had that fucking orange hoodie up. "MMph!"

Stan couldn't make it out, but he seemed to be disagreeing.

"Blah, blah, blah…date." Cartman mumbled.

Date? Stan increased his hearing power.

"Wendy." Said Kenny, clear. The name rang in Stan's head.

Bebe…date…Wendy.

Is Bebe going on a date with Wendy?

No. Bebe us going out with Kenny, Stan remembered. But…Wendy?

"…And that's why I would rather used a Jell-O cup than a gun to kill Cartman." Kyle jabbered on, and finished his proud rant with a heaving sigh. S

Stan patted his BFFS back, and dropped all previous questions.

"Me too, Kyle. Me too."


	6. A Excuse For Going On A Date

CHAPTER 6

Summary: Wendy agrees to go on a double date with Eric "Fatass" Cartman, even though she is totally NOT over Stan, who broke up with her for KYLE. As expected, the date goes horribly wrong. What will Wendy do?

Het and Slash pairings included.

Candy, Style, Benny, Stendy

Hello everyone!

Thanks for all the lovely reviews! Please Read, Review and Favorite if you like it!

-alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

XXXX

"You want me to WHAT?" Wendy yelled at her supposed best friend as she tossed her bag violently on the carpet of her BFFs room. Go on a date with ERIC CARTMAN? Wendy wondered if Bebe was either drunk or high.

"It won't be that bad!" Bebe tried to reason with the girl. "Please!"

Wendy folded her arms and stuck up her pointed nose. "No!"

Bebe sighed. She guessed that this would be her stubborn reaction. Going on a double date just after you broke up with your sweetheart was bad enough…but going on a double date with Eric Cartman after you broke up with your sweetheart was ten times worse.

"Your going to have fun, Wendy." Bebe pleaded. "He's not THAT bad!"

Wendy couldn't believe that Bebe would ask this pointless question, no matter how much Wendy used to like him. She didn't like him anymore! "Yes he is!" she sneered. "He IS that bad!"

Bebe blinked. Touche…"Okay, but so what? I remember you told me you LIKED bad boys!"

"ARRRGGG!" Wendy pulled at her hair. "He's NOT that type of bad, he's the STUPID type of bad, Bebe! WE'VE GONE OVER THIS!"

Bebe placed her hands on her hips. "Well, I don't recall that!"

Wendy threw her hands up, not understanding how ignorant her best friend was. Not only did she hate him, but if she went on a date with him, and HEIDI found out, her entire reputation would be blown to bits! "Bebe! If Heidi finds out, I'M FUCKED! Do you NOT remember the whole incident in the 8th grade?" Wendy drew in close to Bebe. "Could you imagine if those rumors that I had pointedly denied were true? Going on this date would be like..like proving Heidi right!" Wendy hissed.

"Oh stop being so immature! You DID like him!"

DON'T SAY IT SO LOUD! "Well OH-OH-OH Hunny! NOT ANYMORE!"

"Your being stubborn!" Bebe cried. "Stop acting like your five! It's just one date!"

"ONE DATE IS A LOT!"

"So you can't possibly LIVE for four hours with Cartman by your side?"

"No! He's heartless and cruel! He doesn't deserve me!" She held her nose even higher and pounded her foot. "Besides, he doesn't even like me! He just probably wants to brag about his "date" to his friends, or something!"

Bebe shut her mouth, remembering Kenny's strict words NOT to let Wendy know about Cartman's secret. Bebe admittedly thought the crush was adorable though, and she had always privately thought they would make a perfect couple. They were such opposites- the belligerent and the peacemaker, the hater and the lover, the mean and the kind- They even looked extremely contrasting in apperance- but yet so alike. They were both very outspoken, devious, passionate: and they love to force their opinions down people throats. Personally, she liked those two as an item better than Stan and Wendy, Token and Wendy, Gregory and Wendy. But Bebe knew that if she were to tell Wendy how she felt, Wendy would go completely loopy. So she changed the subject.

"It will help you get over Stan!" Bebe replied, knowing how to coil in her prey with that desperate last resort.

Wendy choked. "…what?"

"I know how much you want to get over him..and this date could help you."

Wendy scratched her head. "Are you telling me that one date…one date could help me get over Stan? " More than anything, Wendy wished to move on, and she was quickly falling into Bebe's trap. "One date?"

Bebe nodded. "If not get you over him, it will certainly get your mind of him. When your around Cartman, you don't have the time to think. Plus, maybe if someone else shows intrest in you, you'll move on. That happened when I hooked up with Clyde to get over Craig, remember that?"

Wendy pushed her hair back, forgetting her previous arguments. Damn you Bebe, damn you, you manipulative bastard.

"Well…" Wendy stiffened, not wanting to give in. "I'll think about it."

"WENDY!"

"Okay! FINE!" She stomped her foot. "FINE!"

Bebe smiled slyly. "Besides, who knows? Maybe he's "The One", and you don't even know it."

"Oh, Hahaha." Wendy blushed. "Very funny."

Bebe grinned as Wendy marched out of the room to go destract herself with food.

Wendy wanted to get over Stan. This just might be her way out of hell. It's not like she liked Cartman even, certainly not for his dark green eyes or anything. Wendy tried to regain her dignity.

Bebe followed her out, happily humming. She put her hand on Wendy's back and whispered in her ear, "Be ready, Wendy. The date is tomorrow."


	7. Math Equations

A Date From Hell, Chapter 7

Summary: Wendy Testaburger has recently loss her "perfect boyfriend" Stan Marsh to his best friend, Kyle Brofslovski. Now, her own best friend Bebe Stevens has convinced her to go on a date with Eric Cartman. Disaster strikes, as expected.

HEY! Thanks everyone for the wonderful reviews, favorites and story alerts! you guys ROCK! Please R&R&R! Also, new South Park Story up- "The Secret Diary of Kyle Brofslovski" which I really enjoy writing! R&R that one too if you can! LOVE!

Pairings: Candy, Style, Benny, Stendy (slash and het)

Rated T for snogging, use of cigarettes, vulgar language, blood and gore

Avinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park, or any other the characters in it. Damn!

XXX

The zombies began to break threw the barricades of the weak wooden fort. It was dark inside, and piles of dead, bloody and bruised bodies laid everywhere. There was maroon colored blood smeared on nearly every surface, and body parts were buried in the cracks of the wooden walls. IT smelt of rust and…cheesy poofs? That's right. There was only one brave solider left- Nazi General Eric Cartman, who held his AK-47 high as he took the heads of the monstrous creatures.

"Die Jewbots!" the racist bastard screamed and made sound effects as he shot of the heads. Pop! Blood flung onto the monitor of the TV.

"BAM! BAM!"

Cowardly Eric Cartman, who would be way to scared to fight in a real war, sat on his fat ass, shooting with a game controller, eating cheesy poofs. "MAMM!" He screamed again. "TWINK! TWINK!" over the years, he had gotten way too lazy to say two syllable words to his mother, so he said the first syllable.

She understood. Leanne Cartman rushes in and hands her son two twinkles. He eats them both at once.

Then a "Jewbot" takes the head of Nazi General Eric Cartman. Eric throws down his controller as the words "Dead" appeared on screen, written in blood.

"Sweet Fuck!" Eric pouts. "I was so close to winning!"

The doorbell rings.

"MAMM!"

Silence.

"MAMMMMMMM!"

More Silence.

"!"

"I'm busy, poopsykins!"

"Lazy ass whore!" Eric Cartman declares. He waddles over to the door and slams it open.

"WHAT!" He yells into Wendy's shocked face.

"Don't yell at me!" she shouts back.

Eric stumbled back, recognizing the voice of his wet dreams. Why was _she_ here? Did _she_ know about the date? Did she…come to talk about it?

Eric Cartman's face turned a sickly green. Did she come to reject him?

Wendy continued talking. "Look, I need to ask you a question…are you okay?"

Eric felt his legs go jello. "Totally fahn. What's up dawg?"

"Did you get the math homework?"

"What?"

"The homework. Aren't you getting an A in geometry?"

Eric breathed a sigh of relief. Oh thank you, sweet Jesus…"No, i'm getting a D." He said honestly. Then he crossed his arms. "Thanks for rubbing it in."

Wendy felt a pale pink blush creep on her face. "Oh. Well then, sorry to bother you." She turned away to leave.

"NO!" instinctively, Eric's chubby arm shot out and grabbed her hand. It was delicate and small. Wendy turned back, incredulous. "Yes, Eric?"

…THEY WERE STILL HOLDING HANDS!

"I understand what's going on in the class, i'm really smart. I just don't do the work…" He gestured to the interior of his warm, comforting living room. "I can help you..ho."

Wendy looked up at him with a kind smile on her face. "_Your_ offering to help _me_?"

"Well…yeah."

"Is there a catch?"

"No!" he sneered. "What? I can't be nice sometimes? Don't think your so special! I'd help anyone!" He stuck up his nose superiorly and let go of her warm hand so he could cross his arms.

Wendy rolled her eyes. "I am special." Then before he got a chance to protest, she stepped into his warm house and took a seat on the couch, which was warm from Cartman sitting on it so often.

Eric shut the front door.

By the time he took a seat next to her (raising her side of the couch in the air), she had laid out all her math supplies, complete with a pencil behind her left ear, a compass on the side of the open textbook, and her arms folded gently on her lap.

"I need help with proofs." She said, and looked him square in the eye.

"Um okay. Proofs are easy." Eric said.

"Not for me."

"Well.."He had never tutored anyone before, so he didn't really know what to do. "Let's try a problem." He pointed to a random problem in the textbook. "Prove that line A is congruent to line B."

"I don't know where to start!"

God, this ho was stupid. Eric took pleasure in thinking that. "First state given information." We know that AC is congruent to BC. Why?"

"…because of given information."

"Yep." He scribbled a sloppy step on a piece of stray paper. "What else do we know?"

"That AD is congruent to BD?"

"Yep." He wrote that down.

"What now?" she questioned.

"Well, what do you think would help us?"

"I don't know!" She moaned.

"Your a stupid bitch. The next step is that CD is congruent to CD. Why?"

"Because they are the same thing…AND I AM NOT A STUPID BITCH!"

"Yep. They are a shared segment. And so what does al of these things mean?"

"…The two triangles are congruent?"

"You got it. So why is A congruent to B?"

"..the..um..CPCTC?"

"Yeah! See? It's not hard."

Her eyes lit up. "Your right Cartman!"

"I know I am." He mumbled to himself.

"You know what? Your actually smart!" She smiled and patted his arm.

"Yeah, thanks." He yawned. Her compliments were something he already knew.

"What to do more math problems?" She suggested.

"Yeah. You could use the extra help, ho."

And so our two favorite characters spend the reminder of the evening doing math problems and dissing each other out.


	8. Bye Bye Kyle

A Date From Hell, Chapter 8

Summary: Wendy's best friend convinces her to go on a double date with Cartman and Kenny. Disaster strikes, as expected. Pairings: Candy, Benny, Style, Stendy. Rated T for use of cigarettes, vulgar language, blood and gore. Oh! and snogging. =]

Hey everyone! Thanks for all the reviews, favorites and stuff! ILY! Please R&R&R! Thanks so much!

LOVE,

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South PArk. Damn!

XXX

From his sole window across the dark street, Stanley Marsh watched the entire scene unfold right before his eyes. He stumbled back into his desk chair.

Were his fears coming true?

Was Wendy going on a date…with Cartman?

And why did he care so much? Even before he had fallen for Kyle, he didn't like Wendy. In is opinion, she was 'annoying and bitchy' (he had once described his girlfriend this way to every guy on the football team). But yet, when she was going to go on a date with another guy, Stan could feel the jealousy and rage building up inside him. He liked not having to hear her whiny voice, but now he wanted more than anything to her her delicate voice yap on about virtually nothing.

Stan still wasn't sure she was going on a date with anyone. But he needed to find out.

He grabbed his cellphone, flipped it open, and debated who to call for information. His first reaction was Bebe, the friendly gossip girl. But he didn't have her number, and there was a good reason for that that involved a fresh slap in the face when he asked her out in 6th grade.

Who else to call?

Stan scrolled his contacts down to Heidi Turner, Wendy's friend. Were they still friends? Stan regrets not paying attention to Wendy's endless babbling. He flops back down on the bed, and calls Heidi's number.

He presses the phone to his ear and listens to the ringing.

_Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ri-_

"…Stan Marsh?" Heidi picks up the phone.

"Heidi!" He sits up on his bed and greets her cheerfully. "How are you doing today?"

"…Okay."

"Well, listen hard. I need to ask you some questions."

"What?" She wasn't very friendly.

Stan decided to take the direct approach, instead of dancing around the subject; Heidi seemed like she didn't want to talk to him. "Do you know any whereabouts about who Wendy is going out with?"

"Oh, I might if you refresh my memory." She suddenly became very interested.

"Words on the street are that she's going out with Eric Cartman." Stan blurted. Damn! How did she do that?

"_Eric_ Cartman?"

"Who else?"

Silence over the line as Heidi thought about this possibly valuable piece of information. "Interesting!" She paused. "Where did you hear this?"

"I saw her walk into his living room-"

"OH!" She giggled, suddenly excited. "You know what I saw?" Her voice dropped as she began to whisper.

"Wha-"

"The other day, I saw them go behind Casa Bonita…and they didn't come out for hours later!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know, some kinky things happen behind mexican restaurants…"

Stan's heart sunk. Were they hooking up too?

"And you know what else? Apparently, they went skinny dipping a couple months ago in Stark's Pond. At least, that's what Red told me."

Stan's heart hit the bottom of the ocean.

"Look Stan, I have to go. I have to do some arraigns. Call me back if you get more details!" She hung up the phone with a click.

Kinky things behind Casa Bonita? Late night visits to each others houses? Skinny dipping in Stark's Pond?

Stan's fingers trembled as he searched threw my contacts again, trying to put together this story. He decided to give Kenny a buzz.

He answered immediantly.

"Hey Stan! What's up?"

"Hey Kenny." Stan paused. Kenny was the type to expect something would be up.

"Did you do the english homework?"

"No."

"Math?"

"No."

"…Social Studies?"

"I'm not even in your social studies class!"

Silence.

"Did you do any homework today, Kenny?"

"No."

"Dammit Kenny!" Stan threw his arms up, exasperated. "Did you do your homework yesterday!"

"…Why?" He sounded suspicious.

"JUST TELL ME!"

"I did my math homework yesterday! Okay?"

"What did you get for the first problem?"

"uh…let me check…."

More Silence. Stan began to pound his head against a wall. Why did Kenny have to be so irresponsible?

"I got ten."

His answer was wrong, but Stan didn't care.

"Yeah! Your smart, Kenny!" Stan tried to find a way to ease his curiosities into the one sided conversation.

"So did you hear about Cartman and Wendy?"

"…hear what?"

"You know! Behind Casa Bonita." Stan added a very feign laugh to his words.

"No, I didn't." Kenny pursed his lips. "What happened behind Casa Bonita?"

"Kenny, are Cartman and Wendy going on a date?"

"…Yes."

"When?" Stan inquired.

"Tomorrow after school…Is that why you called me, Stan?"

"Yes." Stan sighed.

"Do you still love your girlfriend…?"

"HA! NO! I'm so gay. I'm really gay."

"Uh-huh." Kenny didn't sound convinced.

"I was just curious. Bye!"

"Wait! What happened behind Casa Bo-"

Stan hung up the phone.

So they were going on a date! Stan's heart ached, and he looked outside his window again.

There was no way around it. He couldn't hide it. He still had feelings for this girl…Stan brushed his hair back with his fingers, stressed. How could this be? Had dumping her been a mistake?

After much internal conflict, Stan made the risky decision to go back after his true love. Why else would he be so jealous?

He stood up in haste, to walk over to his window. He accidentally knocked over a framed picture of himself and Kyle smiling as youths, arms around each other, onto the floor.

The fragments of the broken frame dispersed all over his floor.

Now some other guy was after his woman…

Well, over my dead body! I'm getting my girl back! Stan concluded. He rushed out of the room to go plan how he was going to pull this off.

The picture frame remains smashed.


	9. Anxiety!

A Date From Hell, Chapter 9

Summary: Wendy and Cartman go on a double date while Wendy is still obsessed with Stan leaving her- for a guy! And no less Kyle! But of course, the date ends in disaster. Parings: Style, Candy, Stendy, Benny

Rated T for use of cigarettes, violence and snogging.

Hey everyone! Thanks so much for the reviews and stuff! And Favorites and Story Alerts! You guys are seriously awesome! Read my other story up, "The Secret Diary of Kyle Brofslovski". LOTS OF CANDY! But mainly Style. Personally, I like it better than this one! Okay, I love you guys, kisses and more kisses!

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

XXX

The next morning, Wendy Testaburger awoke with a wide smile on her face.

She sat up on her bed and stretched her arms, still in the best mood since, well, the breakup. She lurked over to the bathroom, and brushed her teeth, still only half awake.

Did that really happen? She wondered to herself. Did I really go over to Eric's yesterday and connect with him? Even if it was over math?

Wendy sighed contently after she spat in the sink and wiped her mouth and her brush. She had accomplished a dream of hers from 2 years ago- bond with Eric Cartman.

She walked back to her room, pulling her arms across her chest.

She had bonded with Eric Cartman!

Wendy put on her deodorant, then slipped into a deep satin magenta top, with a poet sleeve and a light pink ribbon tied underneath her breast.

She had BONDED with ERIC CARTMAN!

…Then she shrugged on her favorite light blue flare jeans, with a floral design at the bottom and on the pockets.

…WITH ERIC CARTMAN!

Finally, she sprayed on her "Sweet Strawberries" perfume and draped her favorite heart locket on her neck.

I BONDED WITH ERIC CARTMAN!

Wendy laughed to herself, remembering how nervous she was when she knocked on his door. How she hadn't even needed homework help: She just needed an excuse.

the only thing that worried Wendy was the fact that they never mentioned the date. Was it a joke?

Wendy stared at herself in the mirror, deciding to do her hair next.

Does this mean that there is no date?

Don't be stupid, Wendy! She thought.. Bebe would never trick me like that!

Wendy stepped into her ballet flats and let her waist length dark tresses flow freely, curling them first then applying hairspray.

Today, Wendy wanted to look especially nice for her date (possibly?) after school. She was now glad that she was invited.

Lastly, Wendy did make up. Today it seemed like she was pink, so it was light pink and dark pink eye shadow, a bit of winged black eyeliner, jet black mascara, and light pink gloss. Wendy rarely got acne, so her skin was perfect as always. For that she was thankful- most of the girls in her class were acne ridden.

As she put on her purple coat and her backpack, Wendy's previous excitement morphed into anxiety. She hadn't gone on a date since…well since Stan Marsh back in 7th grade. She wasn't really a date person.

As she drew closer to the school, her heart was pounding against her chest. Why was she so nervous anyway?

The cold air calmed her down a bit, and she waited patiently outside the school for the bell to ring while other students began to arrive. One Heidi Turner in particular was giving her the weirdest looks. She wasn't even with her friends- what is her problem?

Wendy ignored her. Today was not about Heidi Turner.

Wendy watched sadly as Stan arrived with Kyle by his side. It still hurt.

Depression suddenly overcame Wendy. What was she thinking? That one date would change everything? The way she thought about Stan? She shook her head and rushed indoors as the loud, annoying bell began to sound.

Inside, her eyes began to search for one boy rather than anyone else. Where was Cartman? Then she remembered than she doesn't see him until 1st period, where he will arrived fashionably late and put on a show for the class with his obnoxiousness.

She ran off to her locker, but got her stuff more slowly then ever before, because she had so much on her mind. Gathering her stuff and hanging her coat up, she slammed her locker and drudged to 1st period.

Stan and Kyle were already in the classroom before she arrived. But Stan was sitting next to Heidi…?

She was whispering to him when Wendy came into the room. They both looked up and then Stan walked back to his seat.

Heidi was acting weirder than usual. But Wendy brushed it off to the back of her mind. She would worry about that later.

Kids poured into the room, and they took their seats, being loud as predicted. Bebe bounced into the classroom, yellow curly hair flying behind her as she strutted over to her best friend.

"Hey!" She waved and sat next to Wendy. "Wow, is that shirt new? You look so pretty!"

"Thanks, so do you."

""Yeah, I know. So are you ready for your DATE today!" She said extremely loudly and everyone within a 4 desk radius turned their heads, (including Stan and Heidi's snapping back to watch her). Wendy flushed and her words got caught in her throat. Why was her friend so loud? Now everyone knows!

Wendy didn't say anything, except a low "shut up!" that know one with in 3 inches would be able to hear.

Bebe opened her eyes wide, knowing what she had done. "You know, with me? YAY FOR GIRL'S NIGHT OUT!" She pumped her fist up and down.

Wendy slammed her head repeatedly on the desk as class began to start.

"Hello Students! It's Thursday, and you know what that means!"

All the students groaned in sync.

"That's right! A quiz! Take out a sheet of paper and a pen, for your Thursday Quiz!"

All the students shuffled through their bags nosily. Wendy forgot there was a quiz, but took out her items anyway. How hard could it be? Plus after last nights tutoring session…Wendy smiled to herself and blushed for no reason.

Almost instantly, the door flung open and Eric Cartman strutted into the room, green eyes narrowed seductively and a large egotistical grin on his face, showing of his white strong teeth and his dimples.

"Welcome to class boys!" The teacher hissed, as Kenny followed behind him casually, keeping an "under the radar" appearance. Bebe's eyes lit up and his eyes met hers.

As did Wendy and Eric's.

Then he winked at her quickly, and Wendy was 100 percent surely that if there wasn't a classroom full of kids, she would have jizzed herself. Wendy sighed rather loudly and intertwined her hands and rested her cheek on them, like as if she was a 90's teenage fangirl meeting Aaron Carter.

Bebe noticed of course, their eye locked on one anothers'. She looked dramatically from Wendy to Cartman, To Cartman to Wendy, and back and forth again.

Who else noticed this little moment? Well, Stan and Heidi of course, their jaws drop to the floor and Stan's shoulders slumped ever so slightly. But Heidi, well if you looked at her closely, you could see the fire burning in her eyes.

"Take a seat boys." The teacher said. "Were having a pop quiz."

The boys took a seat across the room from Bebe and Wendy, to Wendy's disappointment.

After the quiz and a class of the most boring speech and note taking ever created, The students assembled at the door to go to their next class.

Wendy and Bebe met up with Eric and Kenny.

"Hey, babe!" Bebe reached up and kissed her boyfriend.

Wendy and Cartman stood there awkwardly.

"Did you think you did okay on the quiz?" Cartman said dryly while Bebe and Kenny were still…

"Yea. I mean, it was hard but I think I got it." Lie. That quiz was easy for Wendy.

"Ha!" Cartman snorted. "You really are dumb."

But before Wendy could protest, Stan and Kyle bursted unexpectedly into their conversation.

"Hey guys, what's going on!" Stan slammed Cartman's back- hard. A couple times. Cartman looked at him incredulously. "What the fuck?"

Stan had a smiled plastered on his face. "How you all been? Have seen you guys in a while!"

"I saw you yesterday." Cartman commented.

"Yes, but we haven't talked."

Cartman laughed. "Wow, your turning into a total gaywad. What has Kyle done to you man?"

Kyle looked cross. "Shut up asswipe!"

Wendy looked at Kenny and Bebe. They were still kissing and flirting and doing god who knows what.

Kyle and Cartman began to argue.

"Hey Wendy." Stan said softly.

Wendy's head snapped back to her ex. "Hi…Stan."

"How you been?"

This was the most akward conversation Wendy has ever had to experience. "Alright." She bit her lip. "And, uh, how about you?"

"I'm fine. You know…" Stan stepped closer to her. "It's not the same without you."

Wendy couldn't breathe. She bagman to freak out. She wasn't ready for this! What? What was going on? Is he hitting on me? What? Why now? What is he doing…?

Suddenly the bell rang, and Wendy rushed out of the room.

What had just happened?


	10. Heidi is Hiding Something

A Date From Hell, Chapter 10

Summary: Wendy and Cartman go on a double date, which is bound for disaster. Candy, Style, Benny, Stendy. Rated T for cursing, and violence in later chapters.

Hey everyone! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and favorites! PLEASE R&R! Thank You! Kisses!

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own South Park. Damn!

XXXX

Stan Marsh sat in his next period class, thinking about what he had just done. He had flattered her, to say the least. He could tell this by the sudden expression on her face. And he was glad it was right in front of Cartman. Stan hoped he noticed.

There was always a first step to everything, and Stan knew that Wendy was worth taking all of those steps back to being her boyfriend. It would be easy though- she was easily impressed and the littlest things could make her happy for the rest of the day. By next week, Wendy would be his.

Stan began to doodle pictures of himself and Wendy together, and then Cartman off crying in a corner, cutting himself. He placed Cartman in the far left of his notebook page.

A small tap on the shoulder drew a gasp from Stan as he looked up to meet his attacker. Heidi. She had tried talking to him in 1st period, but he had pushed her away.

"Hey Stan! Buddy! Pal! Get any news about you know what?"

"Err…" Stan scratched his head. "Yes."

"Well let's hear it then!" Heidi sat next to him and turned to him attentively.

"Their going on a date."

"Cartman and Wendy?" Heidi gasped sarcastically.

"Yep."

Heidi's eyes flashed with something that Stan could not identify.

"You seemed surprised. Did Wendy not tell you this?" Stan asked politely.

"No, she didn't. She obviously wants it to be a secret." Heidi said, thinking. "Wow, that's big news! Big news indeed! Where?" She inquired.

"Um, Today."

"Today? But where!" She leaned into Stan.

"Uh, I don't know!" Stan pulled away from her. She was kind of scary.

She calmed down a bit and matted her hair down with her fingers. "Well, when you find out tell me. Because without me, you'll never get Wendy back." Heidi knew this was a lie, but she was good at lying.

"What?" How the hell did she know that I want Wendy back? Stan thought, his mind racing for answers.

"Oh, c'mon Stan." Heidi rolled her eyes. "Don't act like you don't know what i'm talking about."

"I don't know what your talking about!" Stan said drily.

Heidi looked almost bored, as if she didn't understand why she had to explain this. "Who else would call a random person at 10:00 at night, wondering whether or not their ex is going on a date with some other guy?"

"Wha-"

"Admit it. You still like her."

"Bu-"

"I know, I know. It's called the Wendy Testaburger Charm. You will never get over that girl, I can swear it." Heidi narrowed her eyes at me and crossed her arms.

"I'm right." She said.

"….SO?" Stan exasperated, angry that she knew what he was feeling.

"So with my help, you can get her back!"

Stan noticed Kyle coming into the classroom.

Heidi stood up. "Here is your job: Find out where it is at and the time. Do it subtly, and by the end of today, Wendy is as good as yours."

Stan's heart thumped. I can have Wendy today? All mine again?

Heidi walked away slowly to her friends.

"Hey dude!" Kyle slapped Stan a high five and occupied the seat next to me. "What's up? Didn't get to talk to you last period! Want to come over today?" He paused. "Where you just talking to Heidi?"

"Yea?" Stan sounded unsure.

"Hey, where did you run of to last period? You rushed of without me!"

"Sorry. I had to pee."

"Oh!" Kyle said. "That's okay man! Hey, do you want to come over toda-"

"I can't." Stan interrupted. "I have to be somewhere."

Stan looked at Kyle; beaming, happy and friendly. He did feel bad for what he had to do, but he thinks it's better for him.

Admittedly, he still had feelings for Kyle. Lots of feelings. But that doesn't change anything. Plus being with Wendy is like dating a celebrity. Once you hang with Wendy, your in the "in" group and offers start pouring in: parties, clubs, and you feel like the most precious thing in the world. Being popular is great, it's too bad he had to date Wendy to do it. Then again, she has so many benefits. The only flaw she has is when her mouth opens and she begins to speak, Stan thinks.

And well with Kyle…your just not popular. Your just some random gay dude.

Class began to start, and Stan noticed Heidi's vibrant glare boring into his back. It creeped him out.

At the end of class, Stan got up and left before Heidi could corner him. He had to ask Kenny for more information.

"Hey Kenny!" Stan greeted his friend outside the doorway.

"What's up man?"

"So, um, about that date…I was wondering if…if…if Kyle and I can come with you!"

Kenny looked stunned. "Well of course you can! It's like a triple date now!"

"Sweet!" Stan agreed. "So what time and where?"

"just meet us after school, and it's at the theme park. You know, the one that Cartman owned once."

"Oh great!" I turned away, and Kenny began to walk away, and I bumped straight into Heidi.

"What do you think your doing!" Heidi hissed at me.

"Huh?"

"Go tell him we'll meet up with him later!"

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

I ran back up to Kenny. He turned around.

"Yep?"

"Actually, I can't come right after school, have to come later. So what time?"

"I don't know, whatever time is good for you! We'll be there until like 7."

"Okay, We'll come at like 4 I guess."

"Cool!" Kenny walked away again.

I turned around. Heidi was there.

"Gah!" I gasped, not expecting her to be there.

"Okay, so what time and where?"

"4 O Clock. The old Cartmanland."

"Good." Heidi rubbed her hands up and down.

"I told him I was going on a date with Kyle there."

"When we get there, lie and say that Kyle is sick, or something. And that I wanted to come so you took me instead."

"Okay." I said mechanically. "Hey, why don't we just go right after?"

"I needed my video camera." Heidi grinned. "We're going to get this on tape, so I can watch it over and over again…"


	11. So Far, So Good

A Date From Hell, Chapter 11

Summary: Wendy, still sad over the lost of her wonderful boyfriend, goes on a double date with Eric Cartman. Things, as expected, turn to disaster.

Rated T for language, violence and gore.

Pairings: Candy, Style, Benny, Stendy

Hey everyone! Arg it's getting harder and harder to update…*Sigh* midterms and stuff. Thanks for all the reviews, favorites etc. Please read and review if you like it, favorite if you love it, and enjoy =]

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

xxx

"Okay, let's do roll call. Bebe?" Kenny silently counted the top of their heads, entertaining himself by pretending that a crowd was coming, not just the four of them.

"Shut up Kenneh." Cartman murmured as he dragged himself into Kenny's beat up car.

Bebe laughed and took a seat next to her boyfriend, also the designated driver. Wendy tucked her hair around her ear and sat awkwardly next to her….date. Her fingers began to tremble as she fiddled with her clutch. She wanted more than anything to win Cartman over tonight. Somehow.

For some reason.

All previous thoughts of Stan Marsh evaporated as she began to daydream about Eric…something she hasn't done in years. Wendy let her dreams take complete control of her mind as she drifted away.

Eric Cartman on the other hand, was just as nervous as Wendy was, he just was able to conceal it throughout sexist jabs and racist jokes from time to time. But on the inside, he was dying.

He tried to get into a conversation with Kenny about being poor, but it ended pretty quickly. So he just looked out the window after that.

X

Once the theme park came into sight, everyone in the car began to cheer. Wendy clapped her hands nervously as her eyes darted back and forth.

Kenny parked the car near the front entrance and the kids all got out of the car. Cartman kicked a pebble as he walked.

"I hate this place." He mumbled to himself. Wendy could hear him.

"Why?" She interfered.

He looked back at her in surprise, like he didn't expect her to talk to him.

"These people fucked me over. I owned this place once."

"Really?" Wendy sounded interested.

He nodded and matched her dainty strides as they began to walk in step. "Yep. I like, inherited a million dollars and-"

"That's so rude!" Wendy exclaimed.

"…Wut?" Cartman chuckled, incredulous.

"You had a million dollars, and you spent it on a theme park! You could have donated it to a cause, Eric!"

"Ha!" Cartman began to crack up. "Why would I do that?"

"Because it's the right thing to do." Wendy confirmed.

The four reached the gates and handed their tickets to the employee at the ticket stand. Cartman was last to be paid for, and even after he had received the "smiley" stamp on his hand, he stood there in line, mouth wide open.

"Hey Kid! Your holding up the line!" The ticket guy roared.

"Where's my flashpass?" Cartman demanded.

"You didn't order one."

Cartman moved and walked up to his friends.

"I hate you people." He jabbed, and then lead them all inside.

The entire place was buzzing with people, Food wagons were strolling around every corner, and in the distance you could see all the roller coasters moving and shaking as if they were all serpents. Wendy could hear the screams from a mile away.

Bebe opened a map of the park. It was divided into 3 sections- Happy House, Terror Town and Crazy Country. Bebe studied the map carefully, trying to figure out what to do first.

"Right now we're in Happy House." She stated. "I think we should take the skyline over to Terror Town. That's were all the rides are."

The rest of the public agreed, and so they were of.

Kenny and Bebe walked in line while Wendy and Cartman paced awkwardly behind them.

"So Eric." Wendy drew in closer. "What ride are you going on first?" Wendy noticed that she was relaxing slightly around Cartman. Something about him was comforting.

"The Machine." He said confidently.

The Machine was the biggest, scariest most horrifying roller coaster in the entire park. It was bigger than any other one, complete with Loop-de-Loops, sharp turns, drops, corkscrews, random bursts of fire, a huge soak of water, and to top it off it was all indoors in the dark.

"Totally." Wendy agreed. "Have you been here recently?"

"No. The last time I was here I was 8 years old. " He grinned, showing of his deep dimples.

"You know…" He continued, "You don't strike me as a roller coaster chick."

"Why?"

"I'd thought you'd me against testing the coasters on animals and shit." He said as they approached the skyline.

"They test the coasters on dummies!" Wendy rolled her eyes.

Cartman paused. "Well that explains a lot."

Thankfully, there wasn't a huge line for the skyline, otherwise Cartman would have thrown a hissy fit. They were able to hop right into one of the carts.

The various employees operating the line shut the door to the cart and they were off.

"Wow, I can't believe they let you in Cartman. Without weighing you or anything." Kenny joked.

"Shut up Kenneh!" Cartman snapped. Wendy could tell he was defensive of the chub that he had left.

Wendy looked out the window and watched everything get smaller and smaller. They were so high up…her palms started to sweat, but she wiped it on her jeans and glanced slyly at Eric. He was so cute: with his dimples and his green eyes and his pouting bottom lip. Wendy blushed slightly. What was she thinking? Cartman would never go for her. They were enemies. Her mind should still be on Stan.

But overtime she tried to think of her ex, all her thoughts drifted back to thoughts of Eric Theodore Cartman. She looked out the window again.

"I want to go to the haunted house first." Bebe stated out of nowhere.

"Well, I want to go to The Machine first." Cartman argued.

"But I hate roller coasters." Bebe said casually.

"You do?" Kenny looked surprised.

"Yep." Bebe took a sip of the soda Kenny brought her.

Cartman shook his head and looked out his own window.

"But you suggested coming here.." Kenny started.

"I know." Bebe took another sip. "I love kiddie rides."

Kenny chuckled and kissed his girl's forehead and pulled her in tight. "Okay once we get off, you two go to The Machine, and we'll go to the haunted house."

"Okay." Cartman and Wendy chorused.

After that, they turned back to their dates and began to talk. Wendy struck up a conversation with Cartman about the rights of animals, and they went on arguing intensely for the rest of the ride.

Bebe and Kenny just flirted the entire time.

Once of the skyline, the couples went of their separate ways.

"Don't die!" Cartman yelled after Kenny, but he didn't hear him.

Wendy laughed at Cartman's exclamation, suddenly excited to get on the ride. She herself hadn't been on a roller coaster in a very long time- and she was glad that she was to do it with Cartman.

"Scared?" Cartman sneered at her.

"No!" Wendy laughed. "I'm not scared of anything." Which was pretty much true.

"Not even hippies? Oh wait…"

She gave him a playfully punch in the arm, feeling like herself again. She was not longer nervous- she found his presence rather comforting. With Stan she always had to worry about what she would say, whether it would be offensive, and lots of other ticks that he had. But Eric wasn't like that because they were mean to each other anyways.

"Look Wendy.." Cartman tapped her shoulder, and she looked up.

The Machine.


	12. Disaster!

A Date From Hell, Chapter 12

Summary: Wendy Testaburger, still saddened over the loss of her "perfect boyfriend" Stan Marsh to none other than Kyle Brofslovski, decides to go on a double date with Eric Cartman. As predicted, disaster strikes. Rated T for use of cigarettes, and violence/gore.

Pairings: Candy, Style, Benny, Stendy

Hey everyone! Thanks for all the reviews, favorites etc. God it's getting harder to update, but I can do it weekly, if not less. Enjoy this new chapter! ALSO: This chapter is broken up into two parts. Please read, review and favorite if you like. Thanks again!

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

XXX

"So exactly why do you need your video camera again?"

Stan dragged his large snow boots threw the wet grass on Heidi's front yard, and she turned around to glare at him, probably because he was stomping on her mother's flower patch.

"Oops!" Stan jumped out of the patch and onto the walkway to Heidi's door. Together, they climbed up her front steps carefully because they were covered in a thin layer of ice.

"Because." She rolled her eyes as she whipped out her house keys and began to unlock the front door, "I want to capture Wendy's embarrassment on camera so I can watch it over and over again."

Stan's heart jumped a little. "Is it really that nessasary to do that? Embarrass her?"

"Yes." Heidi confirmed.

Stan bit his bottom lip. Sure, he wanted to be with Wendy again. But why did they have to go embarrass her? I mean, Is going out with Cartman really that bad-okay, okay it is. But Stan was still a little concerned. What if this secret date suddenly made her unpopular? What use would she have then? Stan thought, concerned with his future. Why does Heidi have to embarrass her?

"Why?"

Heidi groaned at Stan's constant pestering as she opened the creaky door and motioned him to get inside the house. The they headed up the stairs to the far right and into her bedroom. Stan trailed behind her like a puppy dog; unsure and uncomfortable. Once inside her bedroom, Heidi shut the door.

Stan gasped once he saw the horrors of her room. Everything, everything was some sort of pink. From the hot pink posters hanging on her pale pink walls to the dark pink fluffy carpet underneath her hot pink bed (covered by a pale pink canopy and checkered light and dark pink pillows and blankets), to the framed pink pictures of friends on her pale pink nightstand, Stan Marsh gawked at the sight before him.

He thought he was going to be sick.

"It's so…pink." He commented.

"Really?" Heidi spat sarcastically. She made her way over to her queen size bed and grabbed her camera, that was pink too. Stan shook his head in bewilderment.

"C'mon let's go." Heidi snorted. "We have a lot of things to do today."

"Yes please." Stan chuckled. "I don't think I can take that much more pink."

Heidi laughed and stepped gracefully down the stairs again, and Stan was grateful that he would never have to see Heidi's room again after this.

Out the door, Heidi and Stan trotted over to Heidi's….Heidi's PINK car. Heidi swiftly opened the door for Stan and he nodded in thanks. Then she made her way around the car to get in the driver's seat. Stan sat happily in the passenger seat, glad the interior of the car was black. But that didn't stop him from sitting on a fluffy pink cushion.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road." Heidi mumbled to herself as she started the car.

Stan sighed and looked out the window as the car began to move, his fears consuming him.

They got about as far as 20 feet before the car abruptly jolted forward and screeched to a stop.

"What the fuck?" Heidi slammed her foot on the brake and began to bang on the steering wheel.

"C'mon, GO!" she screamed.

"I don't think that's going to work." Stan insisted.

Heidi ignored him and turned the car off, then back on. She banged some more, jumping up and down on her seat like an angry child. She turned the car off, then on. Off, then on.

"It's not working!" Stan raised his voice.

"I know that!" Heidi snapped.

Stan got outside to inspect the car, and found the problem immediately.

"Your tire popped." He yawned. He was right. The tire was completely flat and the car was tilted at an angle. From underneath the tire was a sharp knife that Heidi must have run over.

"Shit." Was all she said as she stepped outside the car, only to confirm Stan's statement.

"Well? What are we going to do?" Stan asked.

"Walk."

XXX

"We're almost on!" Wendy squeezed Cartman's arm happily. He brushed her off.

"That kind of hurt ho." But he was grinning.

"Sorry." Wendy apologized. She was just so excited- they were almost on the ride, and the line wasn't long either. They had entered the building about 15 minutes ago, and as expected it was dark and "spooky". Wendy admitted she was slightly frightened when they first entered the damp fake tunnel to ride "The Machine", but now she was a little less tense. The line was pushing ahead surprisingly fast, and Wendy could feel her heart racing, not because of the ride but because she was alone, with Cartman. And they were actually getting along..some what.

Wendy studied the tunnel she was in. It was lit by old fashioned candles, probably fake, and there were black fake cells lining one wall, and wax statues of pirates, dead bodies and mental patients were in each one. Cartman scoffed at the decorations, unimpressed.

"I could make a paper crane scarier than those statues." He bragged.

"Well, at least they tried." Wendy shrugged, her heart racing.

The line pushed further ahead, and the two entered a well lit room with roller coaster tracks in the center, and cells on either side of the tracks. On the right side, the side they were on, was were people got on the ride and to the left of the tracks was were people got off. During the entire time, stupid sound effects of screams and stuff played over the invisible speakers. Cartman and Wendy witnessed people getting on and off, and then it was their turn.

"Oh boy!" Wendy breathed, thinking that she sounded exactly like Butters. They pushed forward, and then Cartman suddenly grabbed Wendy's hand and lead her forward so they can grab the front seats.

They got in just before someone else would of.

'Yea!" Cartman grinned again with those dimples. Wendy giggled.

"Are you scared?" She asked.

"Nah, I ain't scared of anything."

"Oh!" Wendy paused as the conductor began to go over the rules, yada yada.

Wendy bit her lip, trying not to let her peeve ruin this momen-"Cartman?"

"What?"

"It's I'm not scared of anything. Not I ain't scared of anything."

"Are you serious?" Cartman snorted. "You'd be to one to correct someone on grammar."

"Well it bugs me!" She protested.

"Your such a bitch." He laughed.

"EXCUSE ME?"

The ride began it's motion.

"Nevermind." He said nonchalantly.

"Cartman, your an ass-"

"Shut up ho!" Cartman put his finger over his lips. "The ride is starting."

Wendy would just have to talk to him about this later. But for now, she was occupied hyperventilating as they climbed up the first monstrous hill.

And wow was this hill big. Maybe it was because they were in the dark, but this hill went on forever. Wendy began to sing to herself, her voice trembling. It was weird that she was scared- she usually wasn't, but something about this ride was sketchy.

_He was a boy_

_And she was a girl_

_Can I make it anymore obvious?_

_He was a punk-_

"What are you doing?" Cartman said, incredulous.

"Singing to myself, it helps calm me down." Her voice trembled as she began to sing again:

…_and she did ballet_

_What more can I say?_

_He wanted her, she'd never tell_

_but secretly she wanted him as well-_

_"_Your really weird." Cartman laughed. "Why don't you sing something good at least?"

"What! I love this song."

Cartman snorted. "That song is gay. Sing some MCR or Blink 182."

"…Who?" Wendy shook her head.

_But all of their friends stuck up their nose_

_Cuz' they had a problem with his baggy clothes, _Wendy took a deep breath for the chorus.

"Your an awful singer." Cartman commented.

"Be quiet. I'm sure your not that great either." Wendy pointed out.

"Actually, I am. My album went platinum."

"Yea right." Wendy felt as if her legs were jello.

Then the ride stopped. Wendy knew that it was for suspense, and that they had reached the top. She looked down. Darkness. She turned into Cartman to brace for impact.

And then they were speeding downwards at a 90 degree drop.

Wendy clung on tightly to the bar as she felt her hair whipping back.

And then disaster struck.

It all began with a fire. A huge fire that lit the room, probably a little earlier timed than usual. Wendy looked up, and is was as if time paused.

She looked at the burning fire. It lit the entire room, and Wendy could see how high she really was.

Which was really, really high.

The fire lit the tracks too. The coaster narrowed down the first hill, and then came back up. They must have been 150 feet up. Near Cartman's side, Wendy noticed another set of tracks, probably for use later on in the ride. They were close, maybe only 7 feet away. And then Wendy looked ahead.

They tracks were headed straight for the burning orange glow, and they weren't stopping anytime soon.

Not to mention, Wendy noticed behind her the tracks were slowly breaking apart. Her heart beat faster than that of a mouse.

She was going to die.

Cartman was going to die.

Wendy gasped as she noticed the cart in the very back of the coaster had fallen along with the breaking tracks into a dark oblivion.

Cartman must have noticed too, because with all his strength he attempted to lift the single bar holding them in. He was trying to get out.

"Help me.." He managed to gasp.

Wendy began to lift too, obey his orders for once. The fire was getting closer and closer.

With all of his strength, Eric Cartman ripped the steel bar of and clutched Wendy tightly. And in a single swoop he tucked Wendy under his massive arms and leaped out of the cart near the closer tracks.

They were airborne. They were dead. Wendy turned to look back, and saw the entire scene unfold. She saw the cart plunge into the fiery mass and all the tracks break completely and clash into one another as they fell.

And then they were falling…

Yay for cliff hangers! Will Cartman and Wendy make the jump? Stay tuned and see you in a couple days!


	13. The Fire

A Date From Hell, Chapter 13

Summary: Wendy and Cartman go on a double date. As expected, disaster strikes. Rated T for gore/blood, smoking etc.

Pairings: Candy, Style, Benny, Stendy

THANK YOU 3 for all the wonderful reviews, favorites, etc. Sorry, I wish I could update every DAY 3 instead of every week, but it's hard to make time. Oh well! Enjoy! please review/favorite if you like it thanks!

Alvinroxz

XXX

Wendy Testaburger sat up straight in the poorly lit room, her brown eyes squeezed shut from fear. The air was damp and warm, and Wendy could hear a constant plopping noise, probably the water that untimely was supposed to shoot out of nowhere later in the coaster, but that wasn't going to happen now.

Slowly, she peeked out of one eye, only able to see dark shadows of the coaster against the white walls of the establishment, lit only by the orange-red glow of the burning fire.

Wendy lifted one arm and patted herself down, slowly realizing that she was alive.

"I'm okay." she muttered, and then blinked fatly, coming back down to reality. She began to become more aware of her surroundings.

She was sitting atop one of the tracks of the roller coaster, the ones that didn't fall apart. She was petrified to look down to see how high up she was.

Wendy surveyed the room, having to squint in the darkness to see. The tracks, or used to be tracks parallel to her were completely demolished, broken and tore down. But Wendy noticed that they were the only set of tracks in the coaster that had been destroyed, so for now, Wendy deemed her position safe. The fire that had taken the lives of the innocent, unsuspecting people crackled and spewed out sparks every once and in a while. It looked like it had calmed down and was no longer enraged. The fire served as the sole light in the large, one room warehouse.

Well, not for long. Wendy emptied out her pockets, looking for her cell phone. She could not stand the dim light.

_Damn!_ Wendy thought. _I left it with Bebe right before we left the skyline._ _Stupid forgetful Bebe, forgetting to bring her own phone. I wish that I could see. Maybe Eric-_

"Eric!" Wendy gasped as shock and fear overcame her. Wendy began to rapidly crawl on her hands and knees, feeling around the tracks for the green eyed chubby boy who she was on a date with. "Eric Cartman!" She aimlessly crawled back and forth on the tracks, calling out his name several times. Tears began to brim her eyes. What if he was injured….what if he was….Wendy pushed away the pessimistic thoughts. "Eric! Eric where are you?" She said warily.

a cough from near the edge of the tracks behind her made Wendy snap her head around and run over to the sound.

"Eric.." Wendy sighed with relief and leaned over his body. He was lying on his back, hands on stomach and legs dangling over the edge. She noticed with shock the dark blood seeping from the corners of his mouth, cuts and scratches on his arms and fingers, and a bruised eye that was slowly swelling up. His long brown hair was matted down against his sweaty forehead, and he looked almost bored as he yawned.

"Are you okay?" She took ahold of his hands and helped him to sit up.

"Do I look okay?" he sneered.

Wendy ignored that comment. "What happened to you?"

"I slid on the tracks and hit my fucking head on the metal." He rubbed his head in aggravation.

Wendy winced as she noticed how deep his wounds were. "Let's get out of here. You need medical attention."

"It's not that bad…and since when did you care about me getting hurt?" He raised his eyebrows.

"That was a long time ago, Eric." Wendy said, crossing her arms. She had realized that he was referencing the time when she had beaten him up for making fun of Breast Cancer, back in the fourth grade. "And you deserved it then."

"Whatever, ho." Cartman stood up and brushed of his clothes. "Let's go. Where do we leave?"

"We can go the way we came." Wendy stood up also.

"Um, are you crazy? I don't think going near that bonfire is a smart move. Did you see the people that just burned to death?"

"Yes." Wendy looked back at the fire, sad. "It was so tragic."

Cartman snorted.

"Excuse you?" Wendy whipped around to face him. "Do you even care about anyone but yourself?"

"Let me think about that…no."

"GOD! YOUR SUCH A DOUCHE BAG!" Wendy jabbed her finger at his chest.

"Whoa! Calm down ho!" Cartman yawned again. "Now, let's focus on the important things. How do we not die in nyah?"

"We have to go around the fire, ass wipe! Then we follow the tracks to the end!" Wendy tugged on his shirt, still upset. "We have to go down those tracks first." she pointed straight ahead to the hill that the tracks would travel down to reach almost the ground.

"Sounds good." Cartman paused, then narrowed his eyes at Wendy. "Do you have anything to say to me?"

"I'm sorry that your a mean arse who doesn't care that 15 people just died?" Wendy balled her hands up to control her anger.

"Anything else? How about, I-should-not-be-pissed-at-cartman-because-he-just-saved-my-slutty-ass?"

"Oh!" Wendy suddenly heated up. "Well thanks for saving my life. But your still an arse!"

Cartman grumbled, and they began to walk together.

"OH MY GOD! THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN KENNY!" Bebe giggled and clung to Kenny's arm, resting her blonde frizzy head on his shoulder as they strolled along.

"Told you that you would like it." Kenny cracked a smile.

Bebe and Kenny had just got out of the teacups ride.

Kenny could already tell that he was getting some tonight.

"Come on Kenny." Bebe tugged her boyfriend to the left. "Let's go ride the ferris wheel!"

"Whatever you want, darling." Kenny kissed Bebe's cheek.

"Oh, your so romantic…"

As they walked, They noticed a large commotion outside the walls of The Machine. There were policemen, staff members, crowds of people crying and yelling. Everyone seemed to be in panic.

"What's going on over there?" Bebe asked.

"I don't know. Let's go find out." Kenny and Bebe walked over to the crowd. Papers were flying, adults were sobbing, and the policemen were working on their walkie talkies, pretending to care. The staff were panicking to, they might be losing their jobs in a couple minutes.

Bebe noticed some of the staff that were operating The Machine were being investigated, and engineers were being questioned. Confidently dragging Kenny by her side, Bebe marched up to the chief policeman.

"What's going on?" Bebe asked bravely.

"There seems to have been an accident on the coaster…" The policeman looked at the establishment. "Something horrible."

Bebe looked anxious. "Kenny? Weren't Cartman and Wendy riding this ride?"

Kenny nodded drily, fear slowly approaching him.

"Excuse me sir?" Bebe tapped the policeman again. "What exactly happened?"

"The tracks…they broke down…and the fire set off at the wrong time…we don't no if we have any survivors…"

Bebe turned to Kenny, hand over mouth.

"Wendy!" She managed to call out. "Call Cartman, does he have his phone?"

Kenny nodded obediently., and began to rung up Cartman. It rang for about a minute, then went straight to voicemail:

_This is Eric Cartman. Fuck off, please…beep!_

Kenny shook his head, and Bebe understood. Bebe clutched to her boyfriend tightly and tears fell down her pretty face.

"I hope their okay."


	14. Three Times

A Date From Hell Chapter 14

Summary: Wendy Testaburger, still upset over the loss of her 'perfect' boyfriend, agrees to go on a double date with Eric Cartman. Disaster strikes, as expected. Rated T for use of cigarettes, language, gore.

NO, I HAVE NOT DIED. I haven't gotten a chance to update either of my stories in almost a month (eep!) due to the fact that my laptop went missing and I was on vacation for a week. Plus midterms. Plus school work. ARG! But now my laptop is found and….well…BOOM, BABY.

Please favorite/review and stuff if you like it =]. YOU ARE GREATLY APPRICIATED!

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

XXX

"Come down nyah." Cartman began to slowly and cautiously climb down the roller coaster tracks, titled at a fairy small angle, making it harder to scale down.

"Right." Wendy followed behind him, going even slower so that he could remain ahead.

Wendy wrinkled her nose. The air smelt of must and it was hard to see anything. She couldn't wait to just go home and drink her favorite cinnamon spice tea, and read a classic.

Cartman, on the other hand, felt the same way. Except instead of drinking cinnamon spice tea, he would be drinking beer, and fuck classics if Terrance and Phillip were on.

"So Eric." Wendy said, attempting to start a conversation instead of fighting bitterly, "Is this your first date?"

Cartman felt his face heat up, suddenly thankful for the looming darkness. "NO!" He growled in defense. "I've been on lots of dates."

"With who?" Wendy was curious and kind of shocked, not knowing whether or not to believe him.

"Oh you know…girls." Actually, Cartman hadn't been on a real date before, just meeting up with girls so that Kenny could bag them.

"Yeah, girls." Wendy joked.

"Plus it's not even a real date." Cartman added.

Wendy felt her shoulders slump and her heart droop, realizing the ugly truth. "Yea, I know that."

Wendy sighed and let her mind drift off. Why was Cartman so pessimistic all the time?

Even when he was little, he was just so…unaffectionate and cruel to everyone he stumbled across. Was it something, a tragic experience, that had occurred when he was young? Or was it a wall that he but up around himself that grew larger and stronger with every passing day? Or mayb-

Wendy gasped as her hands slipped on one of the tracks, making her loser her footing. She waved her arms around to try and regain balance but quickly she plunged into the darkness.

"AHHHHHH!" She shrieked.

Lucky for her, she fell right into Cartman's arms, gripped tightly on the tracks. He lowered himself down on the ground and dropped Wendy purposely.

"Hey? What's your deal?" She got up and crossed her arms, eyes narrowed angrily.

"What's YOUR deal? It it possible that you can stop being a klutz for like, ten seconds?"

"I am not!" Wendy leaned towards him and stabbed her finger in his chest. "YOUR sweaty hands on the tracks made me slip and fall!" Never would she admit that she lost focus.

"Right…" Cartman rolled his eyes in the dim light.

"OH MY GOD!" Wendy threw her arms up. "YOU ARE SUCH A DOUCHE!"

"Well, someones on their rags today…hey where are you going?"

Wendy stormed away.

"Hey! Where you going ho?"

Wendy ignored him as she stumbled in the darkness, following the tracks, trying to get away from the blazing fire and Eric Cartman.

How could someone so cute be such an ass?

"Hey! Wait up! Your going to get hurt or lost or something."

Wendy continued to ignore him as she held her head high and crossed her arms superiorly, speed walking now. As the place got damper and damper, Wendy realized that the tracks were going through some sort of a tunnel, only lit by fake old fashioned candles on the walls.

She also realized that the tracks were declining ever so slightly.

Wendy looked straight ahead, noticing a bright light at the end of the tunnel. Thank God! She was finally going to get out of here-

"AHHH!" Wendy felt the ground drop as she plunged downward again, this time into a dark pool of water.

Wendy felt her body go under the cold liquid, and she quickly pushed herself back up to the surface. The tracks had vanished quit completely under the water, probably not part of the ride. Wendy treaded water as she watched Cartman carefully climb down and wad into the pool.

"Eric!" She gasped, her teeth chattering. This water was the equivalent of swimming in a bucket of ice.

"I'm here." he swam over to her. "See? This is what happens when you run off…Are you okay?"

"Yea, just a little startled." Wendy looked ahead. It wasn't a very long swim to the dry tracks on the other side.

"C'mon ho." He grinned. "Race you."

And with that, he dove into the water.

Wendy laughed, always up for a challenge.

She took a deep breath and dove into the blackness.

Underwater, Wendy fought to get ahead.

But when she opened her eyes, she only saw blackness.

Soon, she felt a body touching her own, and she pushed him aside, diving even deeper.

After a while of swimming, She began to lose her breath and decided to go up for air.

But as soon as she did, something jerked her back.

Wendy spun around widely and felt the metal tracks rubbing against her knees. Then she tried to swim up with more force.

It pulled her back again.

Wendy started to panic as she realized her flawy pink shirt was caught on the tracks.

She tugged and tugged frantically as her head began to pound and her lungs weakened.

This can't be happening. Wendy tried to kick around, feeling for Cartman. But he was nowhere to be found.

Wendy squinted in the blackness, trying to rip her shirt off. C'mon. C'mon.

Her lungs bursted as she finally gave up. Was this the end? Wendy shut her eyes and began to hear the pounding of her head, and her legs were quickly turning to Jell-O. She felt so faint and woozy as she let her hands drift, opening her mouth and taking in water.

This was it.

Then a strong hand wrapped around her chest and tugged so hard that it ripped the fabric away from her skin. Wendy, practically unconscious, felt herself being pulled up with such force that she felt her arms might tear away with the shirt.

Cartman gasped as he threw Wendy over his shoulder, making sure that she got air as he climbed above land.

Wendy coughed hysterically, and shivered like crazy as she laid down on the dark floor. She was so happy and relieved that she felt her entire body shaking.

"Thank You…" Her voice wobbled as tear sprung into her eyes. She could have really died. She would have died.

"How many times have I saved your ass today? Seven?" Cartman said softly, registering her tears.

Wendy laughed and cried. Cartman scooted closer and wiped her tears away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

"Only three." She sniffled happily and sat up.

"Way too close." She put her hands over her stomach, surprised to only find bare skin.

Wendy's eyes grew larger as she realized she was only wearing her black sports bra.

Her cheeks turned red, mortified.

Cartman noticed too, and he flushed, cleared his throat, and looked away, shrugging of his sweater and throwing it at Wendy behind his back.

"Although I know how much you like being a whore."

Wendy delicately zipped it up over her dripping body, smelling it unintentionally. It smelt like him. It smelt nice.

"Thanks." She said.

"You own me."

"I know." The hoodie was surprisingly comfortable, even if it was incredibly bagging, drooping past her knees.

She got p and dusted her self off, and the tears stopped flowing. She wiped them away.

Cartman got up slowly too, probably because he had to. Underneath he was wearing a looser black shirt with some type of lettering on it, and it rode up on his stomach as he yawned.

It was adorable. Wendy covered her mouth and lowered her head, disbelieving she thought he was cute.

Was this just 'sexual tension' again?

Or was it real?

Cartman smiled at her and they walked side by side, continuing their journey.


	15. Chapter 15

A Date From Hell, Chapter 15

Summary: Cartman and Wendy go on a double date, despite the fact that Wendy is still grieving over the loss of her boyfriend, Stan. Rated T for use of cigarettes, implied drinking and sexual situations.

Pairings: Candy, Style, Benny, Stendy

Hi! Sorry, it's getting hard to update, yadda yadda yadda. Please R& R if you haven't! This chapter is kind of short, kind of building up to the next couple chapters. Enjoy~!

also, I apologized for the OOCness in this chapter. I tried, I tried.

Alvinroxz

XXX

Wendy and Cartman held each others hands as they strided along side the wet emerging tracks from the black lagoon. Their shoes have been ruined quit completely, and in fear of getting "Trench Foot" they have left their shoes and socks behind, letting their bare feet become bruised and scraped by the sharp pavement underneath. They walking in sync, in silence.

Wendy sighed contently, for at once she was at peace. No more fighting, just the sound of Cartman's feet stomping and the distant cracking of the bonfire.

Despite the circumstances, Wendy felt the universe was finally balanced.

The couple looked straight ahead at the bright light eliminating from the end of the tunnel.

They prayed that this would be the way out.

Their hearts started to pound as they drew closer and closer.

"Almost out!" Cartman grinned and squeezed Wendy's hand. " What do you say we go on something safer next, ho?"

Wendy smiled back at him and their shoulders brushed for a split second.

Were they having a moment….?

But their luck ended as soon as they both recognized a burring smell, now only a couple feet away.

And near the entrance of the narrow plaster tunnel was a small fire, radiating of sparks and light.

"Goddamn it!" Cartman growled, and his eyes grew dark as he dropped Wendy's hand to cross his arms.

Wendy groaned and shook her head and Cartman started to mutter to himself.

The two walked past the fire as they continued to follow the roller coaster tracks.

Cartman looked up ahead, squinting his eyes and brushing his damp bangs to the side. He realized that the tracks were steady rising again. He look up and noticed they went flat for a couple meters after what seemed like 120 feet, and then they formed into a small loop de loop, then dipping back down again.

Cartman grumbled and began to climb the tracks.

Wendy followed, scared stiff for what would be her impending doom if she fell off the ride. That was the one thing she didn't like- heights. Unless of course, it was perfectly safe. But..it wasn't. Grudgingly, she decided to suck it up, not really having a choice anyway. She began to shake as she climbed up behind Cartman.

Wendy couldn't resist but look down, which is like, the number one thing you shouldn't do on a scary ride. She couldn't really see in the darkness, but she noticed the small flame near the entrance of the tunnel was getting small and smaller, until it was almost the size of a ant, a dot in her vision. Wendy concluded that they were pretty high up, and she desperately clung to the tracks.

"Are you sure there isn't another way?" she moaned.

"Don't be such a pussy." He snapped.

Wendy sniffled, unable to gather the strength to fight back.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, they reached the flat part of the tracks, and began to crawl uneasily.

Then a long moaning sounded. Cartman whipped his head back and forth wildly, trying to find the location of the sound.

"ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh….." The voice whimpered. Wendy gripped the tracks, scared stiff.

"Who's there!" Cartman demanded.

Wendy edged right behind him, and Cartman laid his back against the rising tracks that formed the loop, and she curled in his lap, shaking.

"GAHHHHH!" The voice cried. Literally cried. Wendy could almost fell the tears of the..thing on her own cheeks.

Wendy continued to bury herself in his chest. "Cartman, do something!"

"I'm not your bitch, bitch!"

"Cartman!" the voice said. "GAH!"

"Who the fuck are you!" Cartman hissed.

"TWEEK! Please..!"

"Tweek!" Cartman and Wendy laughed, relieved.

"Outta mah way, ho." Cartman awkwardly shoved Wendy away from his lap, thanking Mr. Hankey that his blush couldn't be seen.

Wendy's mind raced, trying to come back with some quirky response. But it was too late.

"Where are you Tweek?" Cartman rolled his eyes, annoyed that Tweek survived the ride.

"Under the loop GAH! I CAN FEEL MY BLOOD RUSHING TO MY HEAD!"

Wendy looked up, and she recognized a dark, twitching figure clinging upside-down for his life.

Cartman stood up and climbed over to the outside of the loop.

"Follow me." He instructed Wendy.

"Are you crazy!" She shrieked.

"Trust me." And he held out his hands.

"I don't trust you." She shook her head.

"I promise you won't die okay? Unless I decided to throw you."

"Wow. How nice." Wendy said bitterly.

"C'mon."

Wendy took his hand. "Do I even have a choice?"

Cartman pulled her small body underneath his gigantic own, protecting it from falling as they both began to climb in a semi circle on top of Tweek.

"Now crawl up here!" He demanded of Tweek.

"TOO MUCH PREASURE!" Tweek cried and he began to shake uncontrollably.

"Do we really have to help him?" Cartman rolled his eyes.

"Yes!" Wendy flared.

Cartman mumbled something about coffee and bitchy girls on their rags, and then yanked Tweek's arm and pulled him right side up in front of him, as if he weighed nothing.

"GO!" He shouted. And Tweek, scared out of his wits, scurried down the loop and dropped onto the ride.

Wendy grinned from underneath the fat boy.

They reached the end of the loop safely and slide onto the tracks, grasping them, for they slanted down a little.

Tweek began to praise the gnomes, and he wandered ahead, and Wendy followed. Cartman gripped the loop casually.

Wendy suddenly stopped, then turned around and bounce back towards Cartman, kissing his cheek and then running back ahead.

Cartman froze and rubbed his cheek rhymically in disbelief.

And then he followed, floating on a cloud.

XXXXXXXXXX

Kyle Brofslovski sat at home on his green sofa, arms crossed, eyes wet, the clock ticking.

He knew what was going on. But he didn't want to believe it for a second.

He was being ditched. Right this minute, this second, this freaking millisecond- he was being duped. Dumped. Ditched.

And where had Stan gone? Who knows? Who freaking cares?

He ignored the voice inside his head that shrieked, "me!"

Kyle sighed and tapped his watch rhythmically.

Stan was never this late. And Kyle knew he shouldn't be upset, but he was. He was not only his boyfriend, but his best friend. Maybe he got in a car crash or something? Kyle rathered than then the inevitable, and he felt terribly guilty just for thinking such a nasty thing.

Kyle dried his eyes and stumbled into the kitchen, and poured himself some lemonade. Maybe he was grounded! Or his sister beat him up so badly that he had to be hospitalized! Anything but this.

Anything but this.

Kyle brushed his sadness off, trying to forget.

_Come on people now, people now!_

_People now, come on people now!_

_Got to drive hybrids people now!_ A younger Stan belched out the lyrics to his own song, dedicated for Kyle. Kyle smiled a little, and sung slowly along with his ringtone.

_Come on now, people now, people now!_

_Hybrids are for people now, people now!_

_Good for people driving people now!_

_Get a hybrid, be good people now!_

Finally, Kyle picked up his phone, feeling slightly less glum.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Kyle!" Kenny's voice rung through the phone. He sounded stressed, and worried.

"Hey! What's up dude?"

"We have a situation on our hands…" He could hear Kenny making a distressing sigh from the other end.

"What's wrong?"

"Cartman and Wendy… they were on a roller coaster…and it broke down…totally demolished…they could be dead."

"Cartman and Wendy might be dead?" Kyle repeated in astonishment.

"Yea. At the theme park that Cartman used to own."

Kyle put down the phone in shock.

Cartman…the source of all his bullying and practically all drama since he was a little kid…dead? And Wendy, the most annoyingly perfect girl in school, the one who always was a source of competition for him…dead? The two most unlikeable people Kyle has ever known..dead?

Kyle marveled at his fortune, and sheaded a single tear of joy from the corner of his eye.

This was…a gift. No, this was a miracle. From God.

Kyle put the phone back to his ear, trying to put himself back together.

"Kyle?" Kenny called.

"Yes?"

"Why aren't you here yet! It's almost 5:30!"

"Well, I didn't know I was supposed to come.." Kyle sat, still dazed.

"Yea didn't Stan tell you?" That snapped him back into reality.

"….Huh?" Kyle's jaw dropped. His shoulders slumped, and his worst nightmare's came true. Why did this day have to be so damn bittersweet?

"Yea, didn't Stan tell you?" Kenny repeated. "Me and Bebe, You and Stan, Cartman and Wendy…sort of like a triple date thing."

"I didn't get the message." Kyle said bitterly.

"Dude…." Kenny understood.

"I'll be there." Kyle hung up the phone and grinded his teeth angrily. Then he jumped in his non- hybrid car and drove of.

Stan was going to have a lot of explaining to do.


End file.
